


Aber ich vergesse nicht, dass es ein Morgenrot gibt

by Sole_Sakuma



Category: The Edukators
Genre: Multi, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Second Person, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 21:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sole_Sakuma/pseuds/Sole_Sakuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The best ideas survive. Some men never change. Some do. Some change back.<br/>You never know. That's the point. You can guess, you can anticipate but life – people – is at heart unpredictable.<br/>Let the unpredictableness rule your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aber ich vergesse nicht, dass es ein Morgenrot gibt

** _Not a word to compensate_ **

Peter remembered Jan's clenched jaw. Their quick, grasping hands. The sweat. The gasps. Their bitten lips.

_Maybe he can forget it_, Peter thought. Maybe the ticking bomb inside Jan's head could be stalled.

He didn't know exactly when Jan's world had crushed. Something had broken inside him and he filled the void with words - words that Peter didn't understand.

So Peter stopped thinking. He acted and his hormones did the talking.

It was over almost when it began. Peter held Jan tight and Jan's breathing went back to normal. They didn't speak.

They were friends. They didn't need to.

  
****

**_Yes, you who must leave everything that you cannot control_**

**  
**  
Peter was fun, even if she sometimes wished he had hidden depths. When she was with him, the city wasn't as grey, noise – cars, phones, screaming - was music and she laughed.

She laughed and played pretend. She couldn't match him. She was deadweight.

He planned trips and she followed. He changed jobs and she stayed a waitress. Another night, another day; he played for the sake of the game. And she didn't mind when he bought ice cream or when they ended up in parties she only partially enjoyed.

When they were together, her only debt was to life.

  


** _the tilt of your smile_ **

The slow synchronized cadence was silence for him. It caressed his eardrums and calmed down the pulsing rage, the drowning loathing. His fists could be hands, the world made sense for a while.

He closed his eyes. People are just people when the music is good. It didn't matter who he was, because he was everybody else.

He glanced around and he saw a couple hugging, some friends singing. He saw a friendless guy as lost as he was and a dancing woman as alone as he was.

And he saw a lonely girl with a frown and a smile.

  


** _Finding out the secrets words won't tell_ **

It's like ants swarming around you that you pretend not to see, not to care about because the dice has been cast already.

You feel the ants, their murmurs when you see them. They gossip. They giggle. Their looks are unmistakable.

So you tell yourself it's just a ploy, a ploy set by the capitalist pig.

Jan wouldn't. He's the most upstanding guy you know. His morals are his only hope.

Jule wouldn't, either. She's open and honest. She loves you. Lies don't become her..

They wouldn't.

You cling to that hope and bite your lip and then realize it's your duty. They need you. That's all that matters.

  


** _but simply be for you and you and he_ **

You want to ask them. Every time they leave the room. Every time they joke about those times that are just fog for you. Every time you want to kiss either of them, you want to ask.

Will you?

Could you ask them? Could you tell him?

Can you do whatever you want?

Are there boundless paths or are the hurdles still there?

So what if that growing suspicion is true? What if their past is closer than you thought?  
What if you're dancing a revolving waltz?

Waltz is a dance for two, but you see the third option: tea for me, tea for you -- tea for three.

Will you take it?

  


** _You can feel my lips undress your eyes_ **

Your skin is soft and your laugh is addictive. And your arms hold me tight and I forget. But he's still there. In you. You're still him, no matter how close we get.

I'm still him too, no matter how alone we are.

So you kiss me and your lips taste of him – a taste you don't know I recognize, a taste I won't admit I know. You talk and it's his voice. Your eyes have his blue look. My hands have his touch.

It's your fault because you don't care. And then I don't care either.

You drag me along and he's still there. Dragging you. Dragging me.

  


** _Dort wo die Blumen blühn_ **

We are together now. We will be together then. Then, when our kids walk barefoot where the flowers bloom and the grass is fresh and green, where the sun doesn't burn and the wind doesn't rage.

We'll get drunk and dance to no music. Then we'll sleep and wake up again and repeat it all over. We won't hate it because it'll be the good kind of routine. The routine of the Earth spinning on its axis, the routine of the flowing river and the tides of the sea.

But with no pain, there is no gain and it may take us time, but we will get there.  
It's a promise.

  


** _There is no peace, there's only sun_ **

We'll kiss and hold and work and live. Our hearts will beat together and our voices will be the same.

You touch, we touch and entangle. We don't care anymore. Numbers are meaningless. One, two, three, fifteen. It's the same. It's just that.

Touching, feeling. Every nerve in our body is alert. We tremble. We shake. We never stop.

We sleep, we'll dream. We open our eyes, we'll wake up.

Now it's warm and sunny. We've run away towards the sun, towards the sea. Where colours hurt your eyes, where sound murders your ears, where the air tastes delicious.

We'll live life. We won't watch it pass. We'll make it happen.

  


** _Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof_ **

We make the promises all friends make. We lie as all lovers are wont to do. As it has always been, but not as it always will be.

Because we will never stop being the same guys, we will never forget the hot, scorching summer of youth. The decaying fall will never catch up with us. We shall never be winter.

We'll stay bright and brazen. No guilt too strong to stop us, no past too heavy for our shoulders.

We'll plunge into the future. It holds no secrets, only surprises, only change. And we'll make it happen together.

When the war breaks out, we will be in the trenches together.

  


** _Am Ende der Reise bleiben die, die inmitten von Tod am hellichten Tag lächeln können_ **

The best ideas survive. Some men never change. Some do. Some change back.

You never know. That's the point. You can guess, you can anticipate but life – people – is at heart unpredictable.

Let that unpredictableness rule your life.

Don't be sorry for what you do. Be sorry for what you don't.

Worry about the mistakes you let happen, not the ones you commit.

They never knew what was coming. Make the best out of it.

The first step is to see the injustice. The second one is to seek allies and fix it.

This is a call to arms.

A call to arms interlocked in a tight embrace, to strong arms tearing apart what's left. Time is running out. The prosper years are ending and then comes the hard part. Then we will rebuild it. This time, we have the perfect blueprints.

We will fail but the best ideas will live on and some day, it'll happen. Anybody can fail. Everybody does.   
Not many get up and shake their hair and keep walking afterwards.

It's hard to choose a side. It's hard to live your ideas. Killing for them is easy. Dying for them a little bit harder. But not many live them. Not many breathe them.

Wear your heart in your chest as you should do. Don't keep it guarded. Let it be a revolution in itself. Never let that revolution die.

That's how they win.

We'll always remember the joy of victory. Of the few victories. We also had the joy of our defeats. But above all, you have the joy of our hope. Cling to that hope; it's all that's left even if now we can't believe in it. Make that leap of faith because 'faith' is not a bad word. Faith is what kept her going.

Let your anger show. Anger is not a bad word either. Anger can create after it destroys. Anger is always boiling beneath the surface. Recognize it. Use it. Tame it. He tames the anger and turns it into energy. Energy becomes change.

They won't see it coming.

We must fight apathy, impotence. Turn that impotence into struggle. Turn that struggle into ideas. Turn those ideas into action.

We're fighting against ourselves. Because there are no them, just 'us'. No sides, just people. We forget that, they forgot that. Understand, yet don't justify. Forgive, yet don't let evil actions go unpunished.   
Change, yet don't forget the past. Fight, yet don't hate.

Don't let the damage overcome happiness. Don't let pain kill joy.

That's how we lose.


End file.
